An Auld Git ©
Hamish M Anstruther
Scotland
I've always wanted fur tae be
a carnaptious girnin' auld git
gettin' oan ma family's nerves
and always stirrin' it
Ah want tae dribble cauld parritch
doon the front o' ma guid troosers
tae stagger hame drunk, late at nicht,
comin' frae the boosers
Why should only young lager louts
cause bedlam an' merry hell,
when a grumpy auld girnin' git,
can dae it jist as well?
Everybody's got the richt
tae choose thur way o' life
tae scheme an plot an' think o' weys
tae get back at the wife
An' if ma kids should try tae get
thur paws oan aw' ma money
ah'm gonnae hae the last laugh,
an mak sure ah huv'nae ony
An' when ah dee, ah know ma weans
micht bury me in the midden
before they dae, ah hope they see,
that ah wis only kiddin'
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