An Ode to Crop Circles ©

Ach Boab will ye listen, this nonsense must stop,
These circles yer makin are harmin ma crop,
The patterns ye make do look good frae the sky,
But they ruin the wheat and they bugger the rye,

Ye might think yer clever, ye might think yer coool,
Ah think yer an auld goat who's actin the foool,
The toonsfolk all know whit ye dae here at night,
They think yir deranged and yer brains turned tae sh*te,

I've hostaged yer wife, please Boab give up the ghost,
She's bound and she's gagged and she's tied tae a post,
I'll turn her tae offal, I'll do it the morn,
Oh please stop this nonsense and give me ma corn!