A Race Involving the Village Idiots - circa 1751 ©

1
The cannans rin aboot the braes,
as ower the dykes they lowp,
They often stoyte before they fa',
and sit doon oan thur dowp.

2
Wee bummie Geordie's doytin oan,
He cannae rin at a'.
He haps, he haurls, and hoddins,
As he stoyters tae the wa'

3
Wi' muckle painch big Wullie rins,
He braingts intae the brattle.
Thase brooses hae him oot o' pech,
His banes they fairly rattle.

4
Daft Angus cleekit wae wee Jock,
Run roon' an roon fur oors.
These sumphs they paidled and skint their knees,
Their dowps were aw in clours.

5
Chairlie an Shug are hirplin yet,
As ma clink comes tae an end.
The coofs they claivered through the nicht,
And plumpit doon the glen.

6
Wee glaikit Boabbie took the tassie,
But loast his nickie tams.
He draiglit cleedless past the post,
An' won a teat o' hams.