Bah! Bah! Bad Sheep! ©
Inspired by this atmospheric photograph
Hamish M Anstruther
Photo by kind permission of Bill Crookston ©
There were these seven sheep walkin' in a line.
The good shepherd had called them to pay a fine.
Because o' their sins and having wild fun,
The Kirk bell tolled! - Their time had come!
Baa! went the sheep. Dong! went the bell.
The minister roared, "Ye'll aw' roast in Hell!"
O'er by the dyke a coo stood gazin',
For these bad sheep, there'll be nae mair grazin'.
Nae mair roamin' in the gloamin', or nichts on the spree.
Roasted in the Kirk by a wee Highland Free!
Noo the fairmer's wife wept at her sad loss,
But she soon cheered up when she saw the mint sauce.
Stuffed wi' mutton chops and mutton stew,
The fairmer left the Kirk wi' his belly fair fu'.
The roast could be smelt frae the East, West, North and South.
The fairmer burped, "Ah hope they did'nae huv 'Foot and Mouth'!"
Nothing was wasted, not even the sheeps' fleece.
It made a wool coat for the fairmer's niece.
Frae the rest o' the fleece her grannie got a blanket.
For aw' this meat and wool, "sae the Lord be thankit."