The Scottish Country Dancer ©

While glidin' in the Country Dance
Ma taes a used tae point.
A hirple noo, like in a trance,
Wi' pain in every joint.

Balanced and sure, the moves a ken't;
The newest tae the auld.
Am glaikit noo, ma shapes aw' bent;
An' ma heid's nearly bald.

Reel, strathspey, schottische and jig
Ma feet wid never sclaff.
Noo am worried aboot ma wig,
Fur fear it will fa' aff.

In "Maxwell's Rant" an' "Monymusk"
A'd smile wi' aw' ma teeth.
Noo a hiv only got wan tusk,
Tae glunch at "Lassie's o' Leith".

Up on ma taes in "Donald Bane",
Waublin' "Meg Merrilees".
In agony, am wracked wi' pain,
Mainly aboot the knees.

Reelin' "The Eight Men o' Moidart"
Wi' the leesome Nancy;
Noo am worried aboot ma heart,
Wimplin' "Ladies Fancy".

Crowlin' the "Merry Lads o' Ayr"
Tae the "Highland Laddie".
Noo a can only stan' an' stare
Like a decrepit haddie.