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Has Anyone Seen My Car? ©

Gordon Fjaelberg
Bridgend, Wales
1977

My car was in the car park,
I saw it yesterday;
I closed the doors and blew a kiss,
Then turned and walked away.
Imagine my amazement
As I surfaced with the dawn
And scanned the daily headlines,
Just to find my car was gone.

It's not that prepossessing,
You'd pass it in a crowd,
Brand new sixteen years ago
But still, it did me proud.
The wings were painted orange,
The roof was vaguely grey,
While stapled to the dash-board
Was the wife on holiday!

So I approached a policeman:
"Could you please find my car?
I parked it only yesterday,
It can't have wandered far.
It's maybe feeling homesick
For I haven't had it long,
But leaving quite so quickly
Nonetheless, I feel is wrong."

The constable surveyed me,
And said: "Oh, yes! A thief?
We'll not have none of that round here;
I'll notify the Chief!"
He spoke into his collar,
Thus informing Scotland Yard
That someone in the manor
Took a fancy to my Ford.

I went down to the station,
A statement they did take;
They asked me what my address was,
The colour and the make.
I couldn't help but feeling
If this energy was spent
In catching hold of villains,
Then it never would have went.

The story has a sequel,
I'm happy to relate;
My car was found next Saturday,
Which wasn't long to wait.
Though nothing much was damaged,
To my utter disbelief
The picture on the dash-board
Hadn't quite escaped the thief.



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