James V1 ©
Mary Queen of Scots (In a nutshell) Part 8
Joe Sharp
Stra'ven, Scotland
2004
Darnley geid the nation a shock, a bump appearin’ behind Mary’s frock
Ye cannae judge a book by it’s cover, he must hae been a pretty guid lover
Him braggin’ he wis hard as a rock, ye took it he wis jist guid wi’ the talk
Don Juan, Valentino, move over, Lord Darnley’s rollin’ in the clover
Mary lies in Edinburgh in considerable pain
Screamin’, ‘I’m never gonnae let this bloody thing happen again’
She sends for her midwife, Margaret Aestane
Screamin’, ‘Will ye bloody hurry up an’ deliver this bloody wean’
Two months later, an’ still wi’ battles goin’ oan
Mary goes tae Traquair Hoose, tae try tae convalesce
Eatin’ raw eggs an’ marmalade, oan a tasty soda scone
Returnin’ hame tae find she takes a size fourteen dress
Wee James is safe in Stirlin’, preparin’ tae be baptized
Darnley’s back in Glesga, havin’ jist been ostracized
Bothwell’s in his coontin’ hoose, coontin’ oot his money
Mary’s in the parlour, eatin’ breid an’ honey
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