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Let’s Bass Rock ©

(or Eat your heart out 'T in the Park')

Tom Green
Fife, Scotland
2005

We thought we’d like to go to 'T in the Park'
From what we’d heard it seemed like a lark
But when we tried for tickets, to our dismay
We found there was none left to come our way

We tried really hard, you’d better believe it
Even through the Internet where we were cheated
So after our disappointments we took stock
Then spotted an advert for the 'Bass Rock'

Now Bass is good ale there’s no one can deny
And when you add rock it’s really worth a try
The advert mentioned birds, this set us aglow
Drink, rock and birds, we just simply had to go

So we bought the tickets, turned up as required
Impatient for the party that we’d been denied
Then, what a surprise, a boat arrived at the jetty
There wasn’t a lot of folk, none that were pretty

Soon we were all boarded and then set sail
We just couldn’t wait to get some of that ale
This part of my tale is kind of hard to tell
As I relate to you exactly what us befell

As the boat drew nearer to our destination
I had to admit to a certain sinking sensation
It was all too clearly apparent, even to me
That the birds that we were destined to see
Were not exactly the sort to blow your mind
But the feathered, ornithological, flying kind

So we didn’t get our ale or even dance to rock
The trip on the boat came as quite a shock
But then we are young and don’t have a care
(To be honest we enjoyed the trip in the fresh air)
But before we have to leave you, here’s a hint
When looking at adverts, read the small print.



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