Ode to the North-East ©
In 72, a bloke I knew moved up to Aiberdeen
He found the city charming quite the nicest that he'd seen.
He thocht he'd buy a nice wee hoose with ev'ry mod and con
Wi lists o properties for sale, he tried the Brig o Don.
This canny chiel knew jist too weel the problems would be big
With a them cars and buses using jist one little brig.
A semi near the Duthie Park seemed too good to be true
Until, of course, the trains went past to Inverness and Crewe.
A cottage doon at Fittie hid a special kind o charm
But the noise o a them seagulls caused him mair than some alarm.
A flat quite near Pittodrie seemed to fit in wi his plans
Until he saw the antics o some drunken fitba fans.
Some new estates at Dyce were built (by Barrats or by Betts?)
But it didna take a genius to foresee those noisy jets.
In sheer despair he pondered where on earth to settle down
And finally concluded he'd be better aff in town.
The town wiz fine an peaceful, it wiz deid by half past ten
Fan a the pubs closed early (div you remember then?)
Except on Friday nights of course wi duncers oot til one
The Palace, Beach and Palais were, in those days, jist some fun.
He selt his car and took the bus or maybe even biked
To gain some healthy benefits, he sometimes even hiked.
But nowadays his health has changed, he even sees a shrink
He disnae hae so very far to turn to for the drink.
He blames the City Cooncillors for a thin that's gin wrang
Wi a these pubs an nightclubs fowk are drinkin a nicht lang.
They're quick to help the publicans to boost commercial gain
Yet firmly pit their fit doon for the odd late-landing plane.
They've now agreed to let these late planes land here efter a
We even had a lot mair flights til Globespan pulled awa
A langer runway might attract some transatlantic flights
But City Cooncil planners canna see it - nae foresight!
The Cooncil staff jist drag their heels, in City and in Shire
And so oor future prospects are maist certainly fair dire
We hid a Trump card in oor haun, tae play a winning game
But no, the Cooncil's bust us they're a the blinkin' same.
But wait, the Scots Executive have called the project in
It even micht be rescued from the local planner's bin
Perhaps we'll see the golf course hisnae died an early death
Let's wait and see what happens next but dinnae hud yer breath!