Sam the Seagull ©
James Mutch Crockett
Hong Kong, China
Beware of Sam the seagull,
Thon handsome struttin, cheil,
He's captivated a' oor herts,
An gettin free chips as weel.
Beware his pompous menners,
It's jist a part o' his craft,
An' fan yer smilin' at his style,
He believes that we're a' daft.
Beware this white chested rascal,
He's jist casin' oot the joint,
An' when he turns up wae all his pals,
Then ye'll a' get the point.
Beware o' Sam the hungry seagull
Wae his swank an' airs an' grace,
Fer a' we ken he could be a martian,
Jist drapped in fae ooter space.
Beware this cunning visitor,
Wae his beak up in the air,
He'll be back the morn again,
An gae ye a' a scare
Noo faar is Sam the Seagull,
Thon crafty thievin' loon,
That got his name in the papers,
an' the spick o' iviry toon.
e's bin on TV an' the You tube,
e's kint a' o'er the place,
an' a' hope 's nae fae Aiberdeen,
Or 'ell get a kick in the *rse.
e's nae oor favourit bird 'ats true,
an' 'e canna sing ner whustle,
an' hem bein' on the news warld wide,
'es nae ony fleein' jack russel.
Mae brithers aye complainin'
Aboot them drappin' on his estate,
an' a telt him tae get a flame thrower,
Efter e's fire proofed his place.
'at celebrity Sam the Seagull,
thes time 's gin too far,
Bit fit kin we dae aboot it,
Noo 'es a movie star!