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Teach me SLANG II ©
Chapter II: Scots

Sonja Nic Rafferty

Each summer tourists have one target to reach,
Flying to 'Caledonia' although it's cold at the beach.
The land of the 'Thistle' has other attractions to offer, you know,
I would suggest a few things to learn before you go.

How many lakes will you find on the map? Right, just one!
'Lake of Meinteith'. Travel to 'Loch Ness' and just carry on!
'Loch' stands for lake, 'cairn' is a mountain like 'ben',
Not to forget 'Ben Nevis' if you are of 'craigs' or 'Munros' a fan.

'Will ye come roon for yer tea?' You can have 'Cock-a-leekie,
Stovies, Cod in mustard sauce' or 'Yon's a fine ham-a-haddie'.
The most eaten meal is 'mince'n tatties' I'm reading in my book,
I never have had 'Haggis' but 'Arbroath smokies' I took.

'Sea fill up yer glasses, let the bottle gae roon',
'Whit are ye for? Malt Whisky? Slainte Mhor!' in the afternoon!
'There's an awfae drouth on me! Tume yer cup!'
With your 'cronies' have a 'bevy' or 'chaser' in a pub.

You should not miss a 'session' of 'ceilidh' with any 'airs',
'diddlin, chanter, clarsach, jigs' and 'reels' on Scottish fairs.
Folk music is presented for everybody's fun: 'Gie's a tune, lads!'
'pipes' 'n drums, bodhran, fiddle' and 'whistle' for 'bothy ballads'.

The 'kilt' is a symbol but not so often worn like in ancient 'clans',
You still see it on celebrations, each 'clan' has a pattern of 'tartan'.
There is no need to explain 'Mac', but who of you knows 'Nic'?
It's daughter, not to mix up with nick, nickname, nick-nack or Nick.

'Cheviot, Linton' and 'blackface' are sheep in the Highlands,
'Lassie' is a collie, but 'lass' could be a girl too, you understand?
'The Loch Ness Monster' is a friend of everybody, wherever you go,
Well, are 'westies, Aberdeen Angus' and 'shelties' in your memo?

The kids are 'bairns, weans' or 'weeyins', tak a tellin!'
Hi, my friend's 'aye bonnie', a'hempy', be quiet: 'wheesht!' Don't grin!
If you call Morag a 'dally-doll' and Dougie a 'glaikit get',
Cope with an 'argie-bargy', you better wish 'Lang may yer lum reek!'

This has been quite a lot about SCOTS, 'Hoo are ye gettin on?'
My 'jotter' is 'awa', cannot write more about 'mouthies & drones',
'Hogmanay, Alba, Saltire, Lion Rampant' and 'Culloden' & famous Scots
Like 'Burns' and 'Braveheart', 'Ah could dae wi a bevy? Help ma bob!'

Let's shoot the craw! Toodleloo the noo!

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