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Tom Barker
Joondalup, Australia

Roumer has it……

Spud Murphy was born in Ireland,
but moved to Deutschland as a kid.
There he changed his name to Dick Tater.
and wore a Swastika on his tin lid.

He grew a tash like Chas Chaplin,
but that’s were the similarity ended.
For this misbegotten Jew baiter,
would rob anyone left undefended.

A fat tub of lard on his right hand,
with a malignant dwarf on his left.
He set out to conquer all nations,
by force, guile, or plain theft.

Britain gave him a hot cross Easter,
when the Stukas broke and ran home.
He went and got pally wi’ fat Musso,
and that finally stuffed it for Rome.

He read up on Napoleon’s disasters,
but learned nothing to help him along.
Then broke his agreement wi’ Stalin
and thought to get Russia for a song.

The nasties thought it was going to be a picnic,
Oh boy! were they ever wronged!
Cos it snowed and they all got bogged down,
then prayed to be back where they belonged.

There were motor bikes spinning in mud baths,
and tanks got bogged down in clay.
Sun couldn’t be seen for months at a time
and everything froze up till next May.

Hitler said, “Stuff’ em! Just leave ‘em!”
“They can get out if they but try!”
But wi’ no food an’ very little warm gear,
they soon began to fall down and die.

Like white ghosts over the snow swept Cossacks,
and with each saber thrust a German would die.
Perchance to defrost in Valhalla,
but never again to hear Hitler’s cry.

“All the good Germans are gone now.”
“We may as well fight to the last.”
Then went down deep in his bunker,
and shot himself wi’ one blast.

The bint that was Hitler’s Mistress warbled,
“Y' just can’t trust a Kraut wi’ a tash!"
Then she upended a bottle of poison,
an’ fell deed inti a can foo wi’ trash.

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