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The ca' it cam tae me this day
telling me the latest news
and the distant voice sae far awa
gied me the various views
o’ Mr Him and Mrs She
wha disagreed wi’ Us an’ We,
they failed tae let the bygones be
forever in the past
and wi’ their Holy Book held high,
did'st they, the first stane cast.

Seems Mr Him blamed Mr He
for sae the tale it goes,
they niver ever did agree
and sae it cam tae blows
and noo luve lies in death’s dark shade
within the sunless everglade,
for settling wi’ the steely blade
ended a life sae sweet,
noo wi’ their Holy Book held high,
they lament an’ greet.

I hung up the phones’ unhappy ca'
telling me the dreadfu’ news,
o’ reasons’ maist disastrous fa'
and prides’ iver deadly dues,
for noo anither sacred soul
lies in anither blessed throll,
whilst chapel bell wrings it's weary toll
for gentle Mrs She
and Mr Him noo dangles frae
the hangman’s tree.