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The Missing Modicum of Luck ©

This poem is dedicated to my father Peter, we had both tried to get together but never met each other. He died in 1976 when he was only 48 years old. I didn't know this, and kept on searching until 1994, when I found my Clan in Scotland. Some family members, like my Dad, had died and only pictures are left for me. I wish I could bring them back to life. But luckily I still have one brother with a niece and nephew, one aunt and many cousins...

Sonja Nic Rafferty
Germany
2002

In all the past years
I thought of you so many times.
For a meeting we didn't have
the modicum of luck in life.
In defiance of inaccessible far distance
my heart was very attached to you.
In many ways you tried to take me home,
father of my childhood dreams.

I sat in a far-reaching swing, too.
But my life's companions didn't push me to you!

This heart never could understand
that our destiny had built a labyrinth
with no way out.
My yearning became an agony.
Completely different the stars would sparkle
if I had not only to care from a distance about you.
In many ways I tried to find you,
father of my youthful hopes.

I was a pilot of an airworthy glider, too.
But life's flying weather didn't let me through to you!

My heart will always wander
through our land of past.
When I view the lovely little spot in Alba
where you were buried, I'll become sentimental.
My heart has always been attached to you.
In spite of separation you had not remained indifferent to me.
In many ways we missed our chance - actors in tragic roles.

I signed up on an ocean going ship, too.
But our life's coastguard service got lost on the way to you.


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