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Who are the Abancs? ©

Tom Green
Fife, Scotland
2004

Who are the famous Abancs?, they are all around
Would you like to know where they may be found?

To start with, they look very much like you and me
They donít crawl along the ground or live in a tree
They live in towns and cities or villages by the sea
And appear to live their lives just like you and me
Now we cannot determine exactly who they are
When walking down the street or travelling by car

They canít be recognised by their looks, thatís true
Only by their actions when certain things they do
Itís not that theyíre not clever, quite the reverse
Thatís what makes the irony appear so perverse
They understand the theory of complicated things
And offer their advice to us on almost everything

They appear so superior to us the common band
Until the day theyíve a hammer in their hand
A screwdriver or spanner or other tool will do
Their use appears quite simple to me and you
To them itís a big mystery as to what best to do
Their language at times can turn the air quite blue

They canít make up a flat pack bookcase from B&Q
And theyíve ruined their best carpet with super glue
Their carís in their garage, reversed through the door
(Theyíve forgotten to open it at least twice before)
They are the Abancs, (theyíve just wrecked my fence)
So why call them Abancs, please donít feel too dense

Simply it stands for:
"All Brains And No Common Sense."



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