Ye’ Are Whit Ye’ Eat ©

Ah used tae like liver,
Juist the thocht
Maks me shiver,
Wi ingins
Done up in a fry.
Ah also liked kidney,
Noo tell me,
Wha’ didnae?
Fae the Co-op,
Wi steak,
In a pie.
Noo when ah eat offal,
(It should noo be spelt "awful"),
I gag,
And here is the why.

Some folk wull eat brain,
Whaur the thochts jist remain,
It’s only deid meat,
And that’s true.
But here is ma problem,
And whit pits me off them,
Is the chemicals
They’re aw passin through.

We need tae get iron
But in oor environ,
As I sop up ma gravy wi’ breid.
Ah micht dee a bit quicker,
Bit no’ any sicker,
If ah fry up ma ingins,
Wae leid

Noo that’s a wee notion,
That wid cause a commotion,
Ah’ll eat nae mair meat
Oan the hoof.
Ah’ll juist empty ma bladder,
And climb up ma ladder
An chip a wee bit
Aff the roof