I remember yesterday,
when ice cream was a penny a cone.
I needed two hands to hold it,
but oh how quickly it was gone.
The cone, like an upside down clown's hat,
filled to overflowing wi' cream.
An' if tilted a bit, the lot fell out,
to tears or an ear piercing scream.
"Me ice cream 'as falled oot on't floor",
I yelled, stamping one foot.
"Thee can paddy all thi likes!" growled me Dad
"Tha's not gerrin' anymore ti glut!"
"Ger 'anky an' wipe 'is gob!"
me Dad would warble at me Mam.
But I would just stand there and sob,
till we went for a ride on a tram.
Trams wi' thingy's stickin' up from roof,
an' rubbin' on't 'igh wire.
They appeared to keep goin' day and neet,
never seeming to tire.
Then came the day when I got lost,
and all was panic and distress.
Mam was running round like a headless chuck,
but me Dad was enjoying the mess.
"App'n 'e'll turn up wen 'e's 'ungry!"
growled Dad yukkin' on his pipe.
But me Mam was spittin' razor blades,
an' at me Dad she 'ad a right gripe.
"I've only got one pair of hands an' eyes!
Why didn't you see where he went?"
Then they found me at last wi' a Copper,
inside the lost children tent.
I remember that trip to Cleethorpes,
on that owd L.N.E.R. steam chuffin' train.
But then ah grew up to be a sowdjer,
and that's a different story again.